We’ll start with the winners first, because well, they’re winners:
Floyd Mayweather:
Obviously. The Money Team seemingly always wins. He’s been using the same playbook for years as a businessman and as a boxer. First, the pre-fight trash talk. Then, impeccable business savvy. May weather puts his polarizing persona on display — for better or for worse — and then he steps into the ring and shows why he may be the best defensive boxer of all time.
Love him or hate him, he’s 50 and #OH. I hope the plans for a sequel to Coming To America actually happen so that the barbers can come together and argue Money vs. Marciano (obviously PBF).
Oh, and shoutout to that $100 million guaranteed purse.
Conor McGregor:
Look, I know he ran out of gas. I know he got touched up by Floyd. Still, he went 10 rounds and, all things considered, gave the fans more of a show than Manny Pacquiao did. His guaranteed purse is $30 million, which is 10 times more than his previous career high. Conor was already a household name, but now he has crossover appeal. If he plays his “Great White Hope/Hype” role to perfection, you’ll see him all over the place — for better or for worse.
Everyone Who Saw The Fight For Free:
I’m not saying it’s right, but it’s 2017. Paying $100 for a fight isn’t the move in a world with Firestick, Kodi and social media. Sure, it was a hassle to see the fight for free, but you know what? It was also a hassle for folks who paid $100 for a PPV stream. Your patience and persistence was awarded.
Mayweather Bettors/Fight Party Hosters:
Smart money all around. It made perfect sense to bet it up with the guy who NEVER LOST A FIGHT against the guy who barely stepped foot in a boxing ring. If you were really smart, you could have hedged your bets early on with McGregor with your bookie in the event that Conor pulled off the improbable upset. In the meantime, Money May bettors fleeced the Alt-Right — my bad, I mean folks who inexplicably though Conor had a chance.
If you paid $100 to see the fight, but you made your money back plus some change on the side by hosting a fight party — you have experienced a very small taste of the American Dream. Much respect to you.
Floyd, Conor and everyone who saw the fight for free made off like bandits. Goon masks sold separately. Oh, forgot one group:
Vegas:
Because the house always wins.
And now, for the losers:
Manny Pacquiao:
The last time I saw PacMan, he was losing to some guy named Jeff Horn on ESPN. Not Pay-Per-View, mind you. ESPN. (Apparently, the fight was broadcast in Australia and the Philippines as a pay-per-view, which makes everyone who paid for that fight losers by default).
At any rate, all of this hype for Mayweather-McGregor is what should have happened in 2010 or 2011 with a Mayweather-Pacquiao fight. Instead, we all settled for the “Fight of the Century” in 2015, where PacMan was past his prime.
In 2010 or 2011, Pacquiao stands a good chance of winning that fight. Now, his 2015 fight has been eclipsed in 2017 by a guy who, again, barely stepped foot in a boxing ring.
T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas:
Seriously though, how in the world are you unable to sell out a fight as big as Mayweather and McGregor? I know ticket prices were high. Still, we’re talking about one of the biggest spectacles in boxing history.
I did my research, though. I found out the general manager of T-Mobile Arena is Dan Quinn.
Yep, he has the same name as the coach of the Atlanta Falcons — yep, the same Falcons that blew a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl.
It all makes sense now.
Everyone Who Paid $100 To See The Fight:
Word to Nick Nack Pattiwhack: “Oh no baby, what is you doing?”
I mean, you could’ve paid the $20 cover at your local wing spot. Some cover charges went up to $50, and even that wasn’t as bad as the folks who paid a C-note.
Truth is, the biggest fight of the night wasn’t Floyd vs. Conor — the biggest fight of the night was all of the folks who paid $100 and still had to fight with Showtime just to see the stream!
The rest of the world was about to fall asleep waiting on Showtime to clean up those PPV streams just to watch the fight! I would have said Showtime is a loser, but they at least had the juice to delay the fight until they got those streams fixed.
Conor McGregor Bettors:
I know what McGregor bettors were thinking. “We got Trump in office, there have been a bunch of upsets in sports in the last few years, and Conor is the baddest MF in MMA!”
Well, this isn’t the octagon. This is boxing. No takedowns, no holds, no kicks.
You all got suckered. The sparring video(s) should’ve been a DEAD GIVEAWAY!
McGregor was out there flailing his arms like one of those inflatables at used car/lemon lots. He was out there flailing his arms like he lost two arm wrestling contests in horrible fashion. He was out there flailing his arms like he was The Last Airbender. Just terrible.
And this is who y’all chose to bet with?
If Floyd’s nickname is “Money,” your nickname is “Easy Money.”
Verses and Tiles 